The Top 5 Tips for Managing Your Relationship with Money

dollar-653250_1280Money! A topic that is in fact near and dear to my heart, yet it seems to be the taboo subject that you’re actually not allowed to talk about.  It’s a good thing that it’s the very subject that my guest Joan Sotkin loves to talk about.  Joan an author, coach, and business woman and has helped thousands of people understand why they do what they do with their money, and alter their financial behavior. The founder of the popular website Prosperity Place and author of Build Your Money Muscles, Joan’s passion is helping people improve their relationship with money and themselves.

In my wonderful interview with Joan she prescribed some straight forward medicine for business owners that will help develop a healthier relationship with money.


1.  Ask yourself “What is my money telling me?”  Money tells us what our values are. It can tell us what we’re feeling…about ourselves and about our relationships. It is an incredible tool to assess where you are.

So for instance, if every time you look at your bank balance you feel shame, then shame is your response to that stimuli.  Your goal is to be able to look at your money from a more detached point of view and realize it is just a number. Joan recommends using the Recognize, Release, and Replace process.

  • Recognize: The first step in the process of change is awareness and to recognize the kinesthetic experience of your emotions.
  • Release: Can be as simple as expressing your feelings.
  • Replace: What does satisfaction feel like? Teach yourself the feeling you want to experience, and shift yourself into a different state and replace the negative with the positive.

2.  Develop your basic financial skills  –  Now, even though we want to look at money from a detached point of view, we still need to be responsible with the almighty dollar.  Joan recommends that we track our activity by learning to write everything down. You don’t have to be good with numbers, just data entry.  Be certain to use simple software such as Quicken to begin your bookkeeping then as you advance in your money management upgrade to something like Quickbooks.

3.  Face Your Financial Fears – Fear stems from worrying about running out of resources, which is a basic human fear.  Not reaching your income potential is another common problem to most entrepreneurs.  But Joan recommends facing those issues by focusing on the present.  Financial fears usually speak to the future.  When you’re in the present you’re able to recognize what you are feeling and deal with your feelings accordingly.

4.  Re-Visit the Past  – When you begin to examine the beginning part of your life and your relationship to money, you will see the emotional habits that developed early on. Feelings that you develop through your early life will usually act out through your business and finances.  Most times our family origin issues will also affect the habitual emotions we develop and the decisions we make where money is concerned. Combing over some of these issues will bring you to a greater understanding of how you see money and why it’s important not to let a dollar amount define who you truly are.

5. Build Great Relationships –   Joan says that when you say that you need more money, what you’re actually saying is that you need more people because money is always attached to people.   Money is actually a symbol of relationship, and how you deal with money is how you deal with your relationship with yourself and others. Once you get to the emotional foundation of how you’re approaching life, then it’s going to make a huge difference and make it much easier for you to want to take care of your money, because then you’re taking care of yourself.


This is a transcript of a recorded live presentation. It is in spoken-word format. While we have cleaned up the transcript a bit for easier reading, it is not in edited written-word format. See more at: Alter Your Financial Behavior with Joan Sotkin 


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